The kid I love always treats me like shit. I am in a constant struggle with myself for whether to stand up for myself or let him act the way he does. I am not the type of person who lets people walk all over me. But with him, it’s different. To me, it is more important that I have him than that he treats me perfectly. And regardless, no matter what i say to him nothing changes. I don’t understand why everything he says is a contradiction. Sometimes he wants to fuck me, sometimes he wont even talk to me, sometimes he thinks I’m annoying, sometimes he says he loves me and sometimes he says he “fucking” hates me. I don’t ever know what to believe anymore. I want to be done with him but it won’t last. I want to not care anymore but I always will. I don’t understand it. I don’t understand why everything is different with him or why I feel like I need him so badly. I don’t know what to do. I hate him, I like him, I love him, I want him, I need him. I need help.. I (fill in the blank) you; 143